Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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