Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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