She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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