Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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