I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
