apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
is it fun? or sober?
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