youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
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Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
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I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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