I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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