Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
organizing the empties. That sober.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
sex in a hospital.. check
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
