Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
