dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
