do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
