Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
