Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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