well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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