do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
