I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
