i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
