He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
