at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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