Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
