Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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