I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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