they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize