I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
