I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
