She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
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He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
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I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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