Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
