so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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