your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
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wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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