when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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