You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
