thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Small penises have feelings too.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
