Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
