I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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