GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
false alarm. still invincible.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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