I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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