I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
