The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
