According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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