i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
