omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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