Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
