Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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