So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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