I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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