My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
