I'm going to jail i love you
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
