i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
