you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
