It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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