This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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