Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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