Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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