I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
