new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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