i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
