It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Houston, we have a squirter
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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